I kissed Morgana for the first time, last night.
What could I write that would really explain the way I feel? 'on top of the world' is so shallow. It doesn't at all convey the sense of incredible completeness, of rightness, I still feel.
I love that woman--er, girl(?) No, Morgana doesn't seem like a 'girl,' to me.
I feel like I could fly loop-the-loops all over the quidditch field!
You know, this is crazy. Morgana is the girl I'm interested in, but Skyler Moons is the one I find myself writing about--I guess because I worry about her, and I have no reason to worry about Morgana, aside from friendship and a desire for it to become something deeper than that.
I've been an idiot. There I was at lunch today, half out of my mind with sleepiness and trying to deflect Darcy without being too obvious about it--and I noticed Skyler at the Ravenclaw table, getting surprisingly friendly with another Ravenclaw, who looked like a first-year to me.
They were getting...really friendly--brushing locks of hair from each others' foreheads friendly. Now, Skyler is old enough to be a 3rd Year. This kid she was sitting with--1st Year, if he's anything.
When I was that age, I was more interested in Quidditch and motorcycles, than anything else. That kid is moving...fast.
It didn't make an impression on me at luch; all I remember thinking was, Good, Skyler's made a friend. One less thing I have to worry about, in the face of these godawful nightmares.
I begin to think I should have been more concerned. Or maybe I'm just taking too much of an older brother attitude toward Sky? I mean, it's not really any of my business, whom she spends time with--especially since I don't plan to give Zhou any competition.
But it still kind of bothers me. If Sky were my sister, I'd have that kid's nuts in a crunch. Maybe it's because I see her doing the same thing with Zhou that she did with me--she got too interested, too fast. Not a good thing. It could be dangerous, if she's not careful.
I am too bloody much of a worrywart. I'm off to practice my violin. I got in a good three hours, yesterday. If nothing else, it seems to stave off the nightmares, a little.
God, if Anders or Darcy ever read this, I am so dead!
Fair lady Sky,
Please tell us why
You try to spend your days
With no one?
Where did things go wrong?
Hey, there, Lady Blue.
We'd like to spend some time with you.
Don't the open hand eschew...
Ughhhh...This sounds like the sappiest piece of drivel ever written. But the stupid song won't get out of my head, so I've no choice but to do something with it.
If I'm going to write sappy songs, why can't they be about Morgana? But noooo.
I'm a Slytherin; really, I am!
The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks.
I don't want to think about it. I want it to go away, to not be part of my mind. I want the knowledge to not exist. But it does.
These dreams I'm having--they're real.
I was walking to Hagrid's today with Morgana, Darcy, Kat, and Branwene around lunchtime, to see these new kitten's Hagrid's got. His hut is right on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, nestled among the outermost fringe of its trees.
Everyone else was oohing and aahing over the kittens, and I got a bit bored, so I decided to take a walk outside. And that's when I saw.
There's a spot in the Forbidden Forest, off to the right of Hagrid's hut--you can see where an old path used to be, leading into the forest. I'd never noticed it, before. I figured I'd wander down it for a bit--not too far; I know the rules. But just a bit.
Until I came across a tree, a huge old tree, with a distinctive overarching branch and a knothole where two branches fork. It's as if a third branch should have been there but was cut off. Damned if it didn't remind me of a decapitated torso.
I've seen that tree in my dreams--night before last, when that guy with the black hair went off with his buddy into the Forest.
And...if that tree is real, could the rest of it be real, too? The knife the guy had? The other guy's lab in the catacombs? The crystal thing that the black-haired guy took from there?
I have to find out--but I'm not ready to go looking, yet. Right now, I just want to hope I'm imagining things. Maybe I am. Maybe I've come across that particular spot near the woods before and just incorporated it into my dream, the other night.
But I don't think so. That black-haired guy, Zeldon, killed something or someone in the Forbidden Forest. I can't shake the feeling that it really happened.
I'm not a drinking kind of guy; I've seen how messed up Mum gets when she drinks, and I don't want any part of that rot. But god, I could use a good, stiff drink, right about now.
I sure would like to know why I've been dreaming about two creepy, old-timey Slytherin lads for the past two nights.
Night before last, I dreamed that the two had just met, and they decided to go sneaking off to the Forbidden Forest together. I can't exactly remember what happened next--I think I don't want to remember. I get this impression of a knife and a lot of blood, and that turns me right off.
So last night, I dreamed of the pair again. This time, they went sneaking down to the catacombs, where one of the two had a lab, and the really creepy one, the lad with the knife, found some kind of magical artifact and nicked it up his sleeve.
It's weird, like watching episodes of a television show. I've never had dreams like this, before. I've had dreams that repeated, but not dreams with the same characters doing different things, each night.
Oh well. I hope I can come up with something else to dream, tonight--like riding a motorcycle, or something, or playing Quidditch. No more with these two blokes.